I write our post this morning from the waiting room of a car dealership (one of the playgrounds of the Page of Pentacles) as I wait two hours for routine service. As those who recall my previous post on the King of Pentacles, I don't have much love for the Pentacles court cards. My gut feeling for them always tends to lean towards the braggadocious, douchey "frat boy" personality traits. I know I shouldn't be judgmental, but let's remember, I'm gay, and this is what we do.
Traditionally, the Page of Pentacles is a young personality, someone inexperienced but eager (possibly too eager) to learn, particularly in ways to advance them financially or professionally. They could also be avid learners looking to progress in their profession or hobbies (think a scientific researcher or...haha... maybe a Tarot reader). There is a constant need to seek out more: more knowledge; more money; more recognition; more "stuff."
I think the thing to remember about the Page of Pentacles is that they have ambition in spades (see what I did there?). They have a slow-churn mentality and always have their eye on the prize; they play the long game. They know what they want and will usually put in the work that is necessary to get it done, sometimes at the expense of others.
The Page of Pentacles playlist can be found on Spotify.
Message of the Day: The Page of Pentacles is an attitude. And just like every other kind of attitude, the Page of Pentacles has the ability to mutate into something smarmy and gross. Set on the wrong path, the Page of Pentacles could start off young, innocent, and well-intentioned and end up years later as a clone of Elon Musk, the ultimate King of Pentacles (in the not good way) <cough>douche<cough>.
So let's take a drive through the safari park of Pentacles. Maybe, if we're lucky, we can spot several different varieties in their native habitats.
The Baby Entrepreneur
As we start the tour, you'll be greeted to our right by the cutest little girl with a darling lemonade stand. Go ahead and buy a cup for $4, and grab a $3 Rice Krispie treat while you're at it. Encouraged by their mother, this baby Page of Pentacles is learning the importance of making their way in the big bad world one cup of lemonade at a time. Sure, she's sweating her ass off out here, but at $4 a cup, who wouldn't? It's hard work, but there's a gap in the market, an opportunity to milk. With a fake smile plastered on and playing queen bitch to her counterparts, The Baby Entrepreneur knows how she wants to run the show and will make you feel like shit if you don't support her, one fake tear at a time. The end goal: to franchise out her lemonade stand to other Page safari parks. Corrupted Baby Entrepreneurs end up becoming "dance moms" in later life, looking to run the show of someone else's dreams.
The High School Valedictorian
To our left you'll see a Page of Pentacles in its infancy: the high school valedictorian with a penchant for the sciences. While not particularly social, you'll see them stressing grades, sneaking Adderall, and constantly trying to stay ahead of the game. Their focus is their education and setting themselves up for a successful future through hard work and demonstrated applications of what they've learned. They tend to be goal-oriented, but more long-term than immediate. Corruption of this breed tends to lead to burn outs, a passion for pot, and over-qualified fast food workers.
Fledgling Investment Banker
If you look quickly near the wall over there, you'll see another variety of Page of Pentacle charging his phone: the fledgling investment banker. Having learned about economics and financial strategy in high school and college, this Page of Pentacles is set to make his fortune by leveraging investments in the stock markets and various investment funds. He's not into big-risk but looking for slow gains and consistent performers that will set him up financially for years to come. His head is always in the game and, while he may have the preference for slow momentum, he has the mindset and capability of making educated quick decisions when necessary. Corruption of this breed leads to ponzi schemes, failed investments, loss of trust, and prison time.
Gym Bro
Always easy to spot, the Gym Bro breed of Page of Pentacles is all about the gains - but these are physical gains: ripped, shredded, and swole. These 20-somethings are often found in the gym, phone in hand, snapping pics for Insta, Snapchat, or their OnlyFans. They've learned the science of body form and some semblance of nutrition, and understand that growth comes from dedication, sacrifice, and the long game. At an extreme, these Pages evolve to partner with workout supplement makers, teeth whiteners, and always try to pitch their product affiliations. They are happy to share their map to success for a price, which usually includes two free shaker bottles, a branded t-shirt, and two weeks of "free" one-on-one training.
Crypto Boy
Newer to the safari, the Crypto Boy is a unique cross of the High School Valedictorian and the Fledgling Investment Banker. This combination of book smarts and desire for financial gain short circuits the long-term vision of this Page who is more interested in quick gains with rapid returns. Often seen dressed in a wrinkled Polo with dirty cargo shorts and flip flops, the Crypto Bro is all about high risk particularly when there is MUCH to gain. He is a gambler and can be successful if there is discipline and a metered approach, relying on their book smarts instead of fad-hopping to the latest crypto currency or investment scheme. The Crypto Boy is often seen as "house poor," meaning they drive a fancy car but go home to an almost empty apartment, single mattress on the floor.
Frat Boy
As we near the end of our tour, you'll most likely spot the ever-present Page of Pentacles: the Frat Boy. This Page is the most "watered down" of the Pages of Pentacles. The ambition is there, but only if it doesn't require a lot of effort (unless it involves beer and babes). Bank-rolled by Daddy, the Frat Boy has managed to be born into the role of Page simply by existing. They have little direction other than staying in Daddy and Mummy's good graces. They maintain passable grades and are usually unnecessarily good-looking. They evolve in life to positions in middle management, eventually landing visibility in politics. They have a pension for side-stepping and sleight of hand, allowing them to "polish a turd" just enough to grab people's attention, interest, and investment - the minimum required to propel them further.
While I traditionally balk at stereotypes, this was a fun exercise to illustrate the potential strengths and weaknesses of the Page of Pentacles. The Page of Pentacles has, more so than any of the other Pages, the predisposition to be an absolute douche. Showing the varying sides of the Page of Pentacles helps us remain in the 3rd person to make sure our own personification of the Page of Pentacles remains in check and in balance with our gang of Pages. After all, the court cards of every suit reside in each of us to some degree. How we manifest those personality traits is entirely up to us.
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