In our last post, we explored The Hierophant's role in The Fool's Journey, symbolizing the pursuit of knowledge, wisdom, and tradition. It's very much a time of social indoctrination where we begin to understand our place in the world, society's expectations, and how to play nicely with other people. As I mentioned in my previous post, this can be spiritual or secular indoctrination (or both). However, The Hierophant's energy can be corrupted, leading to long-lasting and sometimes harmful consequences.

Oftentimes, when The Hierophant is pulled in reverse it can indicate a rebellion or disregard for society's rules or norms in search of personal freedom. In our personal journeys, this rebellion against norms is a natural and necessary part of life—something we experience multiple times as we strive to establish a solid core of who we are, what we believe, and what "truths" we hold valuable.

However, sometimes The Hierophant, when reversed, can indicate systemic forces that are holding you back, "keeping you in your lane," or trying to control you for the sake of some hidden agenda. I think of Southern preachers who use their pulpit to bully minorities and preach inequality through skewed interpretations of scripture. They don't truly sow community; they quietly promote isolationism, keeping the congregation under their control through the use of fear tactics that are often intermingled with extreme political views (they're killing babies as soon as they're born! They're coming for your guns!), emotional manipulation (a woman's place is pregnant in the kitchen, not working), and promises of blessings through mandated "gifts" of financial "donations" (tithing), even at risk of their own financial insecurity. The teachings are carefully tailored to keep the congregation on a leash, stifling individual thought and discouraging exploration beyond the prescribed doctrine. They don't want the church members to read, study, or research doctrine, they want to teach it to them, spun to favor their views and keep them attending (and paying tithing).

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Ironically, an organization or a (often-time self-promoted) central figurehead meant to guide and help you can actually be predatory. This type of situation works for some people and does encourage them to live happy, healthy lives... until it doesn't.

For example, I grew up in the LDS (Latter-Day Saint) church. I was born a Mormon and lived according to its teachings until my early 20s. There were some little "cracks" that began to appear in my religious foundation though, as my father chose to get remarried to a woman who was Southern Baptist (and anti-Mormon). I went to a Baptist preschool and kindergarten and spent my summers at Vacation Bible School in the middle of rural Texas. That was where the occasional side comments made by others would subconsciously creep in and eventually lead me to ask bigger questions.

And then, quietly lurking in the background, was the simple fact that I was also gay. Dogmatically, that piece of who I am was quite at odds with the teachings of the church, and I was taught that "being gay isn't a sin - but acting on it is." So in other words, "Man's purpose on earth is the pursuit of happiness - unless you're gay. Then it's actually more about lying to yourself, denying yourself a basic, physiological, hormonal, and emotional right to a happy, 'normal' existence." It was a very real struggle, and the fear of coming out wasn't just an individual thing, it was a family thing because the Mormon congregation is a tightly woven social family; there is a lot of quiet judgement and gossip. It was an incredibly stressful and scary thing to do because of fears of persecution, public embarrassment, rejection, and expulsion from the church/community, on top of the whispers/judgement about the family.

Ultimately, partly out of pressure, partly out of lack of direction, I opted to go on a mission for the LDS church, suppressing/repressing the fact that I was gay. I was sent to Brazil and taught the basics of the Portuguese language. The purpose of an LDS mission is to convert people and convince them to be baptized in the church and (ultimately) start paying tithing. While yes, the church offers many great, valuable services to members (and I truly believe often does a great amount of good in the world), missionaries are taught common sales tactics to get in (particularly with people who have recently suffered loss, need help, or are grieving), establish a relationship of trust, land the sale, and hand it off to local church leaders (who may or may not do their job). This left a bad taste in my mouth, and I chose to change the direction of my efforts by focusing on service (teaching English and doing physical service projects). Obviously, we were still required to proselytize, but it was never my priority.

After a year, I ended up getting very sick and was flown back to the United States for better healthcare. This US-based mission was night and day different and 100% focused on numbers. I openly disagreed with their methods from the beginning, which quickly labeled me as a troublemaker and certainly not a favorite of the mission president. All the while this was happening, I was struggling with being gay, having tried to bargain with God - a trade of my service for not being gay. (Needless to say, that didn't work, and really just made things SO MUCH WORSE, especially as I could talk to no one about it.)

The most damaging aspect of this was how these beliefs led me to view myself as defective and unworthy of "God's love," leaving me feeling alienated from both my faith and myself. I have friends who were told explicitly (in the name of Jesus Christ) that if they had homosexual relationships, they would get AIDS and live a painful and lonely life until they died (spoiler: this hasn't happened to any of them). The psychological harm that came from this organization eventually pushed me away completely, causing me to renounce my membership, and causing years of depression, medication, and therapy. Even today, I refuse to be affiliated with any organized religion or even attend church services. It wasn't just psychological damage; it was a deep spiritual wound, ironically the very opposite of what a mission is meant to bring about.

Having grown up in the church, it was all I knew and understood; it was a core piece of my identity. Spirituality was tied directly to Mormon dogma. The best thing that ever happened to me was diving deep into Tarot because it taught me how truly personal spirituality is, presenting it from a completely new and logical perspective free of judgement, agendas, and labels. It gave me the resources to look at myself, recognize my need for spiritual humility, and trust again in a creator or spirit or "God" who has my best interest at heart and will provide for me, human flaws aside. I learned to not just accept but celebrate my uniqueness and quirks that make me who I am.

Escaping our Captors

Healing from the trauma of spiritual or religious abuse is a deeply personal and often difficult journey, unique to each individual. Breaking free from a restrictive belief system can lead to personal growth and living a more authentic life, but can also have necessary, but difficult and painful consequences.

While there is no direct map for healing through this, there are a few general steps to help along the way.

1. Acknowledging the Trauma. It's critical to first recognize or come to terms with the ways in which certain religious or spiritual teachings have caused harm, whether through guilt, shame, repression, or manipulation. It’s very important to validate your feelings and experiences, understanding that they are real and deserve attention.
2. Deconstructing Beliefs. Healing often requires a period of deconstruction, where you critically examine the beliefs and doctrines you were taught. This involves questioning what you were told to accept without question, and deciding what resonates with your true self. This process can be painful, as it may involve not just letting go of long-held beliefs, but distancing oneself from family or a community that once provided comfort and support.
3. Building a Support System. Healing is rarely done in isolation. It’s essential to find a support system, whether it’s a therapist, a community of like-minded individuals, or trusted friends who understand your journey. Sharing your story with others who have experienced similar trauma can be incredibly validating and provide a sense of belonging. Members of the LGBT+ community often find new "families" to build their lives with when their own has shunned them.
4. Exploring New Spiritual Paths. For some, healing might involve exploring new spiritual or philosophical paths that resonate more deeply with their true self. This could be a return to a more personal, individualized form of spirituality, or an exploration of different practices and beliefs. It’s also okay to step away from spirituality entirely for a time, or even permanently if that feels right.
5. Practicing Self-Compassion. Healing from spiritual trauma often involves a great deal of self-compassion. This means being gentle with yourself as you navigate feelings of anger, sadness, betrayal, or confusion. Understand that healing is not linear, and allow yourself the time and space to process emotions as they arise. For me, even after 20+ years of separating myself, I find myself in family situations where I get angry or frustrated.

The Hierophant Reversed As Growth and Change

While I portrayed this instance of The Hierophant Reversed as one of spiritual trauma and religious agendas, there are plenty of ways this card is also used for growth. It can be a means of encouraging empowerment and establishing a stronger sense of self. It can be indicative of finding a supportive community or like-minded friends. It can suggest searching out resources (books, websites, etc.) to learn more about difficult situations the person is struggling with.

So while The Hierophant can certainly represent challenging experiences, it can also be a flashing neon sign that can lead to profound personal transformation. The Hierophant will appear many times throughout our lives—sometimes as a force for good, other times as a challenge to overcome. But with insight and awareness, we can use these experiences for personal growth, ultimately becoming the person we truly feel worthy of loving.

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