This card stuck with me yesterday to the point that I dreamt about it. However, everything focused on the passengers, not the individual rowing the boat, and I feel like I did not give them enough air time yesterday. So we're taking this boat ride again!

As we discussed the 6 of Swords yesterday, we talked about the nature of the event that brought us to this point. In terms of personal growth, this was the calcination event, the first stage in alchemy, where we burn the material down to ash. We tear down and cut off/out the part of us that needs to change and start on our journey of purification.

Simple, right? Yup.

As we personally identify with the card, there may be times when our role is not of the person who is in turmoil, but is that of a 3rd party watching the process unfurl. We may be a friend, family member, coworker, or honestly, even an innocent bystander watching as something breaks down (either willingly or by force... Heaven forbid this boat is rowing away from a Tower moment.)

Granted, every journey and situation is going to be unique. Regardless of the situation, our role as a watcher comes with certain responsibilities. As the proverbial rower, we are often a source of support for the others in the boat. While not necessarily directly involved, we see the destination and are aware of the journey ahead. These responsibilities obviously differ based on the person and situation, but I would think they would be as follows:

1. Be present and supportive. Sometimes knowing there is someone to hold you up and be with you on the journey may be all that's needed. Companionship; Someone to hold on to when they fear they may stumble; A shoulder to cry on when the journey gets hard.
2. Be a voice of reason. I think we all know how easy it can be to become hyper-focused or be too strict when we are pursuing our goals. Remember the Temperance card: moderation in all things. Help to maintain a healthy balance.
3. Show tough love in the face of defeat. Sometimes these pursuits of change are a life-long journey. Battling addiction or harmful behaviors will see the occasional stumble. This is why the boat has someone at the helm to help stay on course and they aren't left to their own devices to make across. (That's why organizations like AA and their associated sponsors are such an important part of the recovery process.) That doesn't mean the boat won't get tossed or turned around in the storm. Sometimes you have to remind the person to sit their ass down and keep all hands, feet, and objects within the vehicle at all times. Tough love recognizes the stumble but helps them get back on their feet and pick up the pieces to carry on. It does not allow them to flounder in the waves or wait until their near-drowned to throw them a line. Again: responsibilities. If this is someone we care about, we play the part and help them on their journey.
4. Recognize and celebrate both milestones and completion. While it may sound a little patronizing, being told someone is proud of you and what you've gone through is not only encouraging, but it really adds a sense of love and connection to the relationship. It may be hard to accept that kind of attention, but it's important.
5. Know when it's time to leave. This is situational to an extent, but it's necessary to recognize when the journey is over and the separation of roles needs to happen. This is purely to avoid co-dependence so that the strength of the journey remains with the passenger. This can be hard. If you are helping someone through rehabilitation, you have to allow them to stand on their own. Kick that bird out of the nest (with love and in their best interest) and tell them, "Time to fly, bitch."
6. Refill your reserves. You are not an infinite source of energy. If someone is demanding your time - especially if it is emotionally weighted - make sure you take time for yourself to get your own shit done. This goes partly hand-in-hand with #5 - you still need to maintain boundaries and be your own person. You have other responsibilities, after all.

When you think about your own journeys - who has been on your boat to help you find your way? Are they still a part of your life? How did their support help you?

Alternatively, think about those people in your life who posed as a support but became enablers and dragged you further away from your goal. Do you still have people like this in your life? Where do they fall in your current journey?

Most importantly, remember that this is a journey. There are so many variables and situational complexities that will come along the way. It's important to maintain perspective (hello, Hanged Man) so that you don't lose focus on the big picture - and that applies to everyone in the boat.

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