Playing the Fool: The Child

5 minutes to read

Teaching children to embrace The Fool’s qualities can help them grow resilient, adventurous, and independent. Encouraging play, adaptability, and learning from natural consequences fosters emotional growth and happiness.

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Playing the Fool: The Child

Teaching your child to embrace the qualities and characteristics of The Fool is not as difficult as it may sound because The Fool is naturally childlike in his representation. They have some knowledge, but they don't have the practical application or experience to get them where they need to go. Children are resilient and are capable of growth in astounding ways. Helping them understand the characteristics of The Fool can help them not only grow but become aware of character traits and behaviors that can help them live a happier life.

Be playful

Children play. At some point as adults, we forget how to play or become too consumed with adult responsibilities to allow us to play freely using our imagination. Finding joy in the simplest things where there is no expectation or end goal, something we forget as adults. It's important that we don't chide children for doing what children do. They play. Even as teenagers, they play, just with different (more expensive) toys. It's very easy for us to say, "It's time to grow up and put aside those childish things." But let's let the kids have their time. The Fool is clearly lighthearted and playful, as can be see in Smith's illustration, with the dog jumping at their heels.

If you can encourage the importance of play, their mental health and creativity will thank you. It's important to not define play; let that be up to them. It doesn't need to be structured or routine; allow it to be open to interpretation for what speaks to them at that moment.

Encourage independence

While the Fool may have their dog for companionship, they are basically figuring this path out on their own. They rely on their past experiences and previously gained wisdom to accomplish things. Children will rise to the occasion when a task is given to them if you give them guidance and are patient. We taught our son how to dry himself with a towel after a bath when he was 4. It was a process, not something he picked up in a day, but he was capable and was eventually successful. He's 11 now, and he makes his own lunch for school in the evening and his breakfast in the morning before school. In fact, his entire morning routine from waking up to being ready to leave the house is 100% him. We encourage him because he can do these things, but it took time and persistence until he got it right.

We also encourage financial independence. He receives an allowance for his chores and he sets aside a portion for larger, more important things. Earlier this year, he was able to pay for his own karate sparring gear, and he was very proud to make that purchase knowing that he had earned that money himself. It made a difference not only in his pride and confidence but also in how he manages/takes care of his gear. Obviously, we help out when we need to, but we encourage him to make his own decisions, providing input and risk awareness when necessary.

Adapting to change

While structure and routine are critical parts of childhood stability, learning how to navigate change is important. I remember the panic-fueled screams of my toddler son when we dropped him off at daycare when he was 3 years old. It took him a while to adjust and find the trust of his new caregivers. Our son has continued to not be quick to embrace change, and this is fed by fear of the unknown.

The Fool represents the mindset of approaching new situations with an open mind and a sense of adventure rather than fear or resistance. The fear of starting Kindergarten; transitioning from elementary to middle school; getting a driver's license. There are, of course, more complicated forms of change, like divorce or the death of a family member; having to move because of parental job changes. These kind of changes take time and understanding. Helping to understand that maintaining an open mind and focusing on the things they'll gain versus the things they're losing will help make changes easier to stomach, even if they complain and act out.

Allow natural consequences

While it's certainly our responsibility as parents to correct behavior, oftentimes natural consequences are better teachers. As a parent, I have often been quick to intervene in situations to prevent a mistake from happening or to give consequences because the behavior did not meet my expectations. However, sometimes making the mistake and recognizing the lesson to be learned is more valuable than your intervention.

For example, if your child does not close up their favorite cereal in the morning and it goes stale, then they go without and have to have some alternative, less enjoyable breakfast. If your child is slow to get ready in the morning, they miss the bus and have to walk to school. If your child stays up past their bedtime, they'll be tired in the morning but still be expected to maintain their responsibilities. Allowing children to recognize and learn from their own mistakes is a valuable skill that will help them grow into resilient, responsible adults.

Find joy in simple things

Young children have no problem living in joy. Their imagination turns a box into a castle, a string into a pearl necklace. As children grow into teenagers, however, they are more inclined to make choices to help them fit into a pre-prescribed notion of happiness that is shared amongst their friends. Their ability to be present in the moment and find value and happiness in a simple act becomes muted as they set out to discover who they are and what makes them unique. Encouraging your children to find happiness in the world around them (and that it doesn't require the latest iPhone or gaming console to be happy) will help them to be better emotionally prepared for transitioning from childhood to adulthood.

Questions to Ask Your Child that Encourage Fool Energy

When asking children questions, you want to be conversational. This means focusing on open-ended questions that require more than a "Yes/No" answer. You can riff on the questions to make them more age-appropriate.

  • What do you think it means to be adventurous? Can you give an example of something adventurous you've done or would like to do?
  • Have you ever tried something new and exciting that you really enjoyed? Can you tell me about it?
  • How do you feel when you try something new or when you don't know what's going to happen next?
  • Do you like surprises? Why or why not? Can you think of a time when a surprise made you really happy?
  • If you could go on an adventure right now, where would you go, and what would you do?
  • How would you describe someone who is always ready to try new things, even if they don't know what's going to happen next?
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